EIGHT

The Lonely Hearts were a heavy rock band and when the singer left, he formed his own band. The rest of The Lonely Hearts kept their name and he called his new band A Lonely Heart. The lead guitarist in the Lonely Hearts was at a house he was doing some electrician work in and he got talking to the tenant there and it turns out he was the lead guitarist in A Lonely Heart. They laughed at the coincidence and then, as it was a sunny day, they sat in the yard on some deck chairs and drank tea and slagged off the singer they both had worked and were working with.

“Does he always face the mirror in rehearsal?”
“Fuck yes! It’s laughable!”
“Does his girlfriend still come to gigs and....”
“...dance like a maniac by herself at the front whilst staring at him? YES! Hey. with your band would he do a mantra backstage before a gig under his breath?”
“Are you kidding? ‘Energy, truth, momentum, success’ is the punchline to so many of our jokes!”
“He says it’s his *code*. Who the fuck has a code who isn’t in like, the marines?!”
“I know! Oh god, does he still do that thing of counting in the songs himself? Our drummer used to get so pissed off with that.”
“Haha... but no. Actually he doesn’t I don’t think. Our drummer though, he’s sick, I don’t think even Ray would have the arrogance to step on our Liam’s toes.”

The guitarist from the Lonely Hearts sat and thought,

“The truth is, I suppose, that our drummer’s just not very good.” he said. And then the other said
“Ah mate, I’ve got a great idea!”


A week later, the drummer from The Lonely Hearts was reading the local newspaper which the guitarist had given him earlier that day in rehearsal and noticed a red pen ring around one of the adverts in the Lonely Hearts classifieds. His eyes widened as the words sunk in:

Another Lonely Heart looking for a band to beat his out of time heart with. (we love you Smithy but we didn’t know to tell you to your face. Sorry, man, your drums are at your dad’s.)